Master List

This is a master list of everything that has been posted so far.  To avoid duplicates, check to see if your submission has already been done before you submit it. Thanks!

Number links correspond to the original posts.

The few that I posted before making the template:
  • I’ve got a grand staff, so you’ll need both hands on me.
  • Hey baby, I wouldn’t mind if you were a dominant 7th chord because then I could just resolve you all night long.
  • Do your calves ache? ‘Cause you’ve been backwards marching through my mind all day.
  • You wanna be my fermata? I’ll hold you all night.
Regular Posts:
1. Hey, I’d like to anacrusis you.
2. Baby when we’re done, you’re gonna need a whole rest
3. I’d like to finger your fret board.
4. How would you like to see my big organ?
5. Is that a metronome in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
6. Good boys deserve more than just fudge.
7. Do you believe in premarital sax?
8. Hey there, wanna help me practice double-tonguing?
9. You know, musicians have great rhythm.
10. I wanna rosin your bow…
11. Baby, you’d better lower your pitch, ‘cause right now, you’re lookin’ sharp!
12. A ‘cello isn’t the only interesting thing between my legs.
13. I’m not like Wagner, ‘cause when you’re resolved you won’t be feeling dissonant.
14. You have a nice set of mallets.
15. Want to make some parallel motion back to my place?
16. Do you believe in love at first set, or do we have to run it again?
17. You can tickle my ivories anytime, baby.
18. Do you mind helping me work on my fingerings?
19. Wanna strum my g-string?
20. Altos know how to go down low.
21. Let’s do something Romantic cause I’m Baroque!
22. Guitarists finger faster, you know.
23. Hey baby I play bass drum, so you know I could give you a nice deep bang…
24. Hey baby, lemme put my end pin in your rockstop.
25. Valve oil isn’t just for brass, now is it?
26. Maybe you and your friend would like to play a trio with me?
27. My embouchure is not only good for playing the trumpet, if you catch my drift.
28. Hey babe! I want to play you like my harmonica!
29. Can I transpose myself next to you?
30. I know something else that has f-holes…
31. So what are you like in bed? Piano or forte?
32. Trombones can do seven positions, and baby, my favourite’s on the floor.
33. It’s true, I may have treated other girls to a deceptive cadence in the past. But for you, it’ll be V to I baby. V to I.
34. I’m to you as A minor is to C - I’m all natural, and so are you.
35. I’m not the only one at attention.
36. The flute isn’t the only thing I know how to blow.
37. I’m french horny for your tromboner.
38. You want to know how to play the saxophone? Why, it’s easy.  You just blow a lot and sometimes use your tongue.  Would you like to try?
39. We’re gonna run it again, but this time we’ll switch the Andante to a Vivace… on my count.
40. Baby, if I was V7, you would be my I because without you, I’m incomplete.
41. Well, I must say, your brass is pretty nice.
42. Stop, you’re giving me a woodwind.
43. Saxophonists do it wish alternate fingering.
44. Let’s play your instrument. I’ll finger and you blow.
45. Horn players can hit your entire overtone series.
46. If you were a saxophone, I could finger twelve notes on you with just my left hand.
47. You look sharp, so lets go back to my flat, and get natural.
48. Hey babe, I lost my mouth piece.  Mind being my new one?
49. I’ll grease your slide…
50. I’m a mezzo-soprano.  I go both ways.
51. You must either be a fourth or a fifth, because you’re just perfect!
52. Did you know? Drummers make better lovers.  We band perfectly in time.
53. If you’ll be the conductor, I’ll be the fermata.  You can hold me as long as you’d like.
54. Save a drum, bang a drummer.
55. My reed isn’t the only thing I can get wet.
56. What fingerings should I use when you’re in that position?
57. Hey baby, I know all sorts of alternate positions that’ll ensure maximum playing speed and accuracy.
58. I have some nice wood, and I’m not talking about my reed.
59. Your chin rest isn’t the only thing that gives good hickeys.
60. I can make you hit that high note.
61. Is there a triad in your pocket, or are you just augmented to see me?
62. You must be a cellist, because you sure do know how to play that beautiful piece of wood between your legs. 
63. On a scale from 1 to 10, baby you’re a Major 11th.
64. You’re a Major part of my life. Without you, I’d B flat.
65. Can’t drop your throat enough to reach that low note? Come over later and i’ll teach you some techniques.
66. Will you B Minor?
67. Hey baby, there’s no need to fret if your g-string is open.
68. Hey baby, I’ll let you play my clarinet, just please don’t chip the wood.
69. I can help you out with some alternate fingerings if you want.
70. I usually only play on a 3.5 reed, but I’d be okay with even harder wood.
71. Music is the only place where you can F minor. Wanna try?
72. Trumpets can do it with 3 fingers, Euphoniums with 4, but trombones do it in 7 positions.
73. You play the baritone saxophone? That’s a pretty big black mouthpiece.  Maybe you’d like to come try mine?
74. Hey baby, wanna blow my headjoint?
75. If you were my theory homework, I’d slam you on the table and do you all night long.
76. I’m a fermata. Hold me.
77. You finger that G string rather well, can I try?
78. Date a bassist. We do it deeper.
79. I’ve got the fingerings down. Want me to help you out?
80. I see you play bass clarinet. You must like the bigger kinds of wood.
81. If you were a scale, I’d go up and down on you. You decide the tempo.
82. I C Major potential in you and me performing a duet together.
83. Baby, I’ll be your cork grease.
84. Mind if I practice my double-tonguing on you?
85. I like it con fuoco, but we can take it andante…
86. Wanna play with my sticks?
87. I’d noodle around your piano.
88. Your voice is piano when you talk, but I bet I can make you crescendo to a forte in bed, baby.
89. If you were a percussionist, I’d let you play with my rosewood all night long.
90. Don’t worry, I play oboe. I can handle double the wood.
91. Baby, you have a nice back slide.
92. Baby, you’re like a french horn. You got curves from beginning to end.
93. If you were an oboe, I’d be the only one who could play you correctly.
94. Clarinet reeds aren’t that big. Wanna try some bigger wood?
95. A trumpet isn’t the only thing I can make scream high notes.
96. Baby, I like you like I like my reeds; long and durable, and hard enough for me to get used to.
97. If you don’t mind, could you come to my place and help me with some better lipping techniques?
98. Let’s just cut to the chase and duet already.
99. Hey, baby, you need a Handel with that? But I warn you, I can go the full Messiah.
100. Always date a Bassist. Their bodies have the biggest curves.
101. How about we hang out, then we can make our own slide lube.
102. Musicians duet better.
103. Composers know how to score.
104. When I give the count off, you’re supposed to blow.
105. Hey baby, you know “One more time” doesn’t really mean one more time.
106. You should date a bassist. Our strings are nice and thick.
107. What’s say you and I go into a practice room and work on some harmonies together?
108. Sorry, my tonguing needs work. You should help me practice it.
109. How about you give me some piano lessons? We could play all night and make some sweet music.
110. As you can see, low brass is pretty big.
111. I like ‘em flat and minor.
112. Finger my f-hole properly and I might take off my g-string.
113. Why don’t you come over to my place, and we can practice some scales together.
114. How fast can you tongue?
115. I don’t need to put a fortissimo sign to make you scream.
116. I can easily get the perfect pitch if I adjust my mouthpiece on the head joint.
117. Bassists have big hands, if you know what I mean.
118. Flutes: We’re cheap trills.
119. You’re so saxy.
120. You had me at cello.
121. What  and we’re about to do can get us in some serious treble.
122. Why don’t you come over, and I’ll show you how fast a bassist can pluck some strings.
123. I’d rather play that mouth organ of yours.
124. Tubas. We’re twelve times hornier than an ordinary french horn.
125. Baby, you make my spit valve leak.
126. Are you a scale? Because I’d like to go up and down all over you.
127. Call me Tristan, ‘cause I resolve in improbable ways.
128. Wanna F around the room?
129. Baby, I’ll make you scream in fortissimo.
130. Date a bassist. We don’t mind going down low.
131. Baby, my tuba valves aren’t the only things I can slam down them tubes.
132. I could strum chords with you and my fingers would never be tired.
133. I could help you yell as loud as a drum major trying to trying to get the attention of their band for the third time.
134. I heard you’re a trumpet player. Want to try blowing my horn?
135. I promise I won’t bite the wood while I blow. Trust me, I play oboe.
136. Reeds aren’t the only hard things I’m good at blowing.
137. Let’s go Bach to my place, and get a Handel on your intonation.
138. Hey, babe, if I could be an article of clothing I’d be your neck-strap, so I could hang out between your boobs all day.
139. Hey baby, I bet I can make your reed wet.
140. If you were my sight-reading music, I’d get a red ribbon every time.
141. Wanna see how fast I can finger?
142. Hey, babe, you wanna play some Air on a G string with me?
143. I like my woody reeds licked all over.
144. Sopranos like to be on top.
145. Are you a guitar player? ‘Cause you just plucked my heart strings.
146. I Scelsi your undergarments.
147. Would you like to put your mouth piece on my clarinet?
148. Suck it or blow it. Either way, my harmonica makes a great sound.
149. My fingers can keep up with my tongue.
150. I bet my vibrato could warm up your string really well.
151. You’re a bit flat. Lets turn the pegs and make you a big more natural.
152. My saxual preference is open.
153. You should date an oboe player. We make sure our wood gets soaking wet before we start blowing.
154. Your parents must’ve been great composers.
155. If you were a piece of music, I’d love to sight-read you all day.
156. You know what they say about us cellists. We can’t keep our legs closed.
157. Oh baby, trust me, I’m a french horn player. I know where to blow and where to put my hands and fingers on the right place.
158. You play cello? I guess that means you can take big wood in between your legs.
159. I broke my G string fingering A minor.
160. Let’s have sax. I’ll stick my boner in your brass while you scream like an oboe.
161. I like my guys like I like my reeds: The harder the better.
162. I’d like to rearrange this piece into a duet, for just you and me.
163. You wanna be a soprano? Let me help you hit those high notes.
164. Middle C is a great note. I’d love to play between your staffs.
165. When you do it with a singer, we’ll always make you want to go once more with feeling.
166. Hey baby, I bet you and I would make beautiful music together.
167. I could bang you harder than a timpani.
168. I’m gonna put you in bass 5 and bang you.
169. Suck me all you want. My wood will never go soft.
170. I wish you were the G line and I was a treble clef, so I could wrap myself around you.
171. I’ve got a major third!
172. They cal me sharp for a reason.
173. It’s alright. I practice safe sax.
174. I see you’re a cellist. Let me lengthen your end pin for you.
175. Will you move to musical notes with me?
176. I’d let you finger my octaves.
177. I’ll make you fortissimo at the climax.
178. Are you a fermata? Because I want to hold you.
179. You’re more perfect than the key of C.
180. So I hear you have a nine foot concert grand… I have you you can play just as beautifully.
181. If you play the skin flute then I’ll pull out my head joint.
182. Orchestra: everything you need to know about g-strings and f-holes.
183. What’s your favorite movement of Holst’s Plantets suite? Mine’s Uranus.
184. The tempo of my heart changes from adagio to allegro whenever you walk into the room.
185. You’re sweeter than a major A chord, baby.
186. Wanna put your bow in my F-hole?
187. We must have good pitch, because baby, you and I are so in tune.
188. Baby, come with me and I’ll take you higher than a coloratura.
189. I can help you hit that high C.
190. You and me, let’s do an etude of each other.
191. Hey I broke my G String, can I borrow yours?
192. Hey I’m gonna rock you harder than AC/DC did all night long.
193. Whenever I spend time with you, time flies at the tempo of prestissimo - I wish there was a ritardando so I could enjoy every moment.
194. I just jazzed everywhere.
195. I hear you’re a second bass. Want to go to third with me?
196. It would be nice if I could touch your body.
197. Let’s do arpeggios in contrary motion.
198. Musicians make it look easy.
199. You know I can hit the right partial.
200. Baby I wanna bang you as hard as I bang the keys of my piano when playing Beethoven’s fifth symphony.
201. You have great posture.
202. There’d be no music without you and I…
203. You make my trombone slide to 7th position.
204. When in doubt, pull out.
205. I wanna duet with you.
206. Hey there. How would you like to flip my pages for me?
207. You know, singers have the most flexible tongues. We can go in and out of different languages.
208. Are you a trombone? Because I’d like to blow you in seven different positions.
209. You’re making my tone hole leak.
210. Let’s get into some treble and go to third bass.
211. Baby you had me at measure 1.
212. Let’s get down like Charles’ father.
213. You make me go Gaga.
214. Sopranos are always on top, altos are on the bottom, but oh baby. We mezzos can go both ways.
215. Why don’t you ti ti my tika tika’s?
216. Will you be the F# to my C?
217. Will you be the A-flat major to my F minor? Cause I’m starting to see some parallels between us.
218. When I’m with you, my heart starts to syncopate.
219. How do you feel about triplets?
220. You and I are like B# and C. We look different, but we are the exact same.
221. Baby, you’ll need plenty of grease to get this cork into that mouthpiece.
222. I’d like to touch your cantus firmus.
223. I want to make you tremolo.
224. I’m bisectional.
225. Wanna see me dance with my pole?
226. I have a flute you can blow on.
227. Do you see that snare? I’d tap that.
228. My double bass isn’t the only thing that is upright.
229. If you’re lucky, I just might let you play with my bow.
230. I would love you no matter what your instrumentation is.
231. I’ll take it accelerando so you can crescendo to a forte.
232. Come to my place, and I can make you treble.
233. You know what they say about drummers… They like to bang.
234. You’re tuttiful.
235. You know what they say about cellists, don’t you? They like to do it in a chair with their legs spread wide.
236. How about you ke lay me?
237. How would you like to make some music with me?
238. Tonguing, blowing, and fingering aren’t just for an instrument you know.
239. My hard pallet isn’t the only thing that’s hard.
240. You make my heart go staccato.
241. The deep dark blue sea isn’t the only thing I want to blow.
242. Basses are not the only things I’m good at fingering.
243. If you lick my reed till it’s wet enough, it’ll open for you to tongue easily.
244. My part is hard. Maybe you can help me with it.
245. Trumpet players finger faster, blow harder, and tongue quicker.
246. My sectional preference is Alto.
247. How’s about you help me check my dynamic range?
248. Cork grease doesn’t taste nearly as good as Chapstick. Wanna try?
249. L’amour est un oiseau rebelle, but baby I’ll take a chance with you.
250. You’re gonna need a new mouthpiece. I’ve got some harder wood.
251. The theme of this movement is love. Let’s develop it.
252. You must be augmented cause my love for you just won’t diminish.
253. Hey baby, you know pianists do it with 10 fingers.
254. I only have an acoustic, but hopefully this pickup will still work.
255. Can you tell me if my reed is moist enough?
256. Your voice is sol a-do-re-ble to mi.
257. You got a stop for this rock?
258. Let’s make music on my sheets.
259. Hey baby would you like to be my downbeat? I’ll always put you first.
260. Baby, I’m a violinist. I’m a pro in about fifteen different positions.
261. Hey babe, I’m Eric Whitacre.
262. So you’re in drumline? Okay, then we can practice 1st bass together.
263. Can I get you another drink? What are you having, a penta-tonic?
264. Oops, my pick fell in your soundhole. Do you want me to pull it out or just leave it in?
265. My fretboard is smooth and slick, all the way down to the nut.
266. Are you rea-di to do mi?
267. Song Without Words: I’ll Love My Love
268. All we have to do is breath together, and everything will be ok.
269. You’re a bit sharp. You should pull out.
270. My spit valve is always stuck in the open position when I’m around you.
271. Even if you’re A-minor, I’ll still play with you.
272. You know, Clarinet players blow, finger, and lick wood the best.
273. Baby, you’re a drummer? I can make your heart go offbeat.
274. Babe, I can find that sweet spot on your stick.
275. Dear Mr. Drum Major, I’ll let you conduct my beat.
276. I like tromboners that are up and ready to play.
277. I hope it’s no treble, but I’d like to B with you.
278. Can I fist your bell?
279. Is there any room to make this a triplet?
280. Wanna play my instrument? It’s a woodwind you know.
281. I’ll guard you with all my heart.
282. Hey Babe, you know I’ll tickle your keys.
283. Go practice some aural so you can get all the pitches.
284. You make my horn snap to attention.
285. Baby, you’re open-holed.
286. You finger, I’ll blow.
287. You seem to be having trouble with your embouchure, I can help with that. It’ll be a hands on experience though.
288. Let’s Fach.
289. Hey baby, sopranos usually do it on top, but I’d be willing to be an alto for you.
290. Hey baby, can I blow on your trumpet?
291. We’re only a semitone away from love. We can always creep up a half step and make it official.
292. Hey baby, I’m a percussionist. I bang. Hard.
293. Your band clothes are making me uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
294. I’ll vibrato your fingerboard.
295. I’m heterosectional, but I’d be homosectional for you.
296. Hey baby, you’re on my to-do-Liszt tonight.
297. I’d like to roll step over to see your beautiful face when I first wake up in the morning.
298. Oh, so you’re a percussionist? Want to give me a lap cadence?
299. Your pucker makes me horny. Wanna make it French? Just tongue.
300. Slow doesn’t have to mean soft.
301. Your kisses hit me harder than a solid 7 catch.
302. Falling out of love with you is as hard as backwards marching in circles.
303. I’d like to memorize your body like I memorize my music.
304. Babe, why must you be over chromatic? You cause me treble.
305. The bassists bang sideways. We snares bang on top.
306. Do you want the long part or the short part?
307.  Why are you dating a drum, babe? They always cling to your shoulders. Date me, a trombone. I’ll give you space to play when you give me space to play. Although, I’ll always use my best seven positions with you.
308. You make my heart do drop spins.
309. I’ll be your Doctor Beat.
310. Let’s practice some safe sax and use a neck strap.
311. It’s time to begin. Is it in?
312. Can I be your tuba? I’ll give you a place to feel completely engulfed in love, but I’ll never hurt you or trap you. You can put your lips on me without getting tired out. I’ll make low moans, ut at the same time I’ll give you the same pleasure.
313. You have to feel my click internally, babe. I can’t always bang hard.
314. Quads. We can bang in four different tones.
315. Darling, are you having treble? Don’t worry, I’ll be your strong bass.
316. You sound a bit flat. Do I pull out or push in?
317. Can I be your drum? You can bang me all you’d like, softly and gently or hard and rough. You’ll have to carry me but I’ll always be there for you and make you feel like you’re above everyone else.
318. I can snap, I can slide, and I can flank.  What more would you want?
319. Euphoniums are treble, but us baritones? We’re the bass that you need.
320. Hey baby, my name is Legato.  You know why? ‘Cause I’m smooth.
321. I know your’e used to riding high on the staff, but us lower brass get down low like it’s nobody’s business.
322. I’ll soak your reed any day.
323. Hey baby, are you a C Major Scale? Because you look all natural to me.
324. Sectionally, baritones are the best babes.
325. You’re on the dance team? Mind showing me that sexy cadence one more time?
326. I like a man in uniform…. A band uniform.
327. Can I empty my spit valve on you?
328. I assure you, if I were sheet music, I’d be major.
329. I need help loosening my embouchure. Can you help me after practice? 
330. Sweetheart, just let me make a horn move on you.
331. He baby. Let’s get brassy.
332. Girl, you make my trumpet snap to attention.
333. My instructor says I have a great blow technique.
334. Don’t worry, I practice safe sax, and always wear a reed.
335. My reed loves it when I blow hard. It vibrates like crazy. Wanna test it on your wood?
336. One day, you and I will be as close as Tom Wallace and marching band music.
337. You realize, baby girl, everyone names their instruments. Want to name mine?
338. Is that a drum stick, or are you just happy to see me?
339.  Baby, can I go up a fifth on you?
340. You can put your lips on my mouthpiece any day.
341. Can you put your baritone inside my tuba? I want to see if it fits.
342. Want to meet my horn?
343. How about changing positions? It’ll be more comfortable.
344. You light up my world like a piccolo lights up the sharp side of a tuner.
345. Hey babe, what’s your uniform number? Cause I’d love to get into those pants.
346. Do you play the vibraphones? Because I’ve been getting a good vibe from you.
347. Wanna swap mouth pieces?
348. Hey there. You must be the fifth scale degree of the diatonic scale, because you’re always dominant in my thoughts.
349. All band kids do is blow and bang, and orchestra kids finter the g-strings by the f-holes.  But we choir kids can scream like no other. Don’t believe me? I’ll see you after class.
350. Hey babe, I have perfect pitch, so let me turn your tuning pegs.
351. I prefer a tromboner over anyone else.
Last updated 11/12/12 4:12pm